Good Parenting

The home is a temple where each member of the family is a moving temple and is nurtured and nourished. The mother is the high priestess of the House of God. Humility is the incense with which the house is filled. Reverence is the lamp that is lit with love as Oil and Faith as wick. – Baba

Home is heaven when there is Love and understanding and the same becomes hell when there is distrust and hostility. The home and the family is the basic social institution everywhere in the world. When the home improves, the whole world will be better. The home where the name of the Lord is not heard is a cave and nothing more. If the home is filled with clean fragrance of contentment and peace, all its occupants will be happy and healthy. The elders have, therefore, a great responsibility towards the generations that is coming up.

 That home, where the husband and wife are bound together by holy love, where every day both are engaged in the reading of books that feed the soul where the name of the Lord is sung and His glory is remembered, that home is really the Home of the Lord. The homes in which the Bal Vikas children grow, as indeed all homes, have to be clean, with vibrations free from hatred, envy, greed, spite and hypocrisy. The food that the child eats must be wholesome and pure. Between the ages of two and five, the child’s mind is profoundly affected by the behaviour of those nearest to him, so the parents must take care to set a good example.

The family is essential for the blossoming of human personality; how can a helpless baby grow and learn, talk and move forwards without a home? Home is the dwelling place of Right Conduct. A home is a home if the woman is honoured and respected within it. Such a home is the heaven of prosperity and peace.

Parents are living gods

 First and foremost, you should show gratitude to your parents. Your blood, your food, your head and your money are all the gifts of your parents. You do not receive these gifts directly from God. All that is related to God is indirect experience. It is only the parents whom you can see directly and experience their love. So consider your parents as God. God will be pleased and will manifest before you only when you love and respect your parents.

Mother, father and then the preceptor

It is the mother who teaches you the sacred principles like love, compassion, forbearance, tolerance and sacrifice. Mother shows the father, father takes you to the preceptor and preceptor directs you to God. That is why among mother, father, preceptor and God, Mother comes first. The earlier years of life are the most crucial, and so mother and father have to share the responsibility of proper unbringing. The parents must lay the foundation strong and straight. The child must grow with the mother for the first five years of life. When a boy is five years old, the father has to take up the task of bringing him up. The father must encourage the son by example more than precept.

Parents and teachers work hand in hand

The father and mother must supplement at home the training given by the teacher at school. They must acquaint themselves with the lesson the child receives at school and see that their conduct and advice do not conflict with what the child learns from the teacher whom he adores. Children must be led into good ways of living, into simplicity, humility and discipline. All parents must be persuaded lovingly, through the example of bright, cheerful and motivating the children in BalVikas classes, to send their children also to these classes. Teachers should not be content with merely teaching the children. They should contact the parents and ascertain how they are behaving at home. Knowledge can be given by the teacher; however, the discipline, the rigorous control of the senses and behaviour must be administered by parents. Then the children become sacred souls, holy, sanctified individuals.

Some golden rules by beloved Bhagavan

  • Children are pure and sacred at birth – Moulding them as ideal children is the duty of the parents
  • Children are gifts of God – Parents should rear them as representatives Of God
  • Parents are sculptors who chisel their children beautifully – Upbringing children starts from the womb. What the mother sees, eats or hears affects the baby.
  • Mother is the first teacher, the child learns every act from the mother
  • First five years the child learns action from the parents
  • Environment is the first place for the child to learn social behaviour – The world would be more beautiful if the environment is good
  • Child’s body, health, mind depends on parents’ life style
  • Parent’s relation with child should be natural, simple, friendly and loving. Parents must spend more time with the child
  • Blossoming of child’s mind depends on its Home filled with Diligence, Devotion, and Faith. With all these qualities the child’s Home becomes a sacred place a Temple, a Mosque or a Church
  • The Valuable gift parents can give the child is training in Human Values – Sathya , Dharma, Shanthi, Prema, Ahimsa
  • Not only building a House but parents should also be ideal householders
  • Mould the children to have good thoughts and good practices to make “The Home A Sweet home”

 Three wishes of a noble mother

Easwaramma, mother of Sri Sathya Sai Baba expressed her three desires. Once she told Baba, “Swami, our Puttaparthi is a small village. As there is no school in the village, the children are forced to walk long distances to attend schools in the neighbouring villages. I know that You are the ocean of compassion. Please construct a small school in the village”. I asked where she wanted the school to be built. She said she had a piece of land behind her house. She wanted the school to be constructed there. As desired by her, I got the school constructed. Though it was a small school, the inaugural function was a grand affair, attended by many devotees. The next day Easwaramma expressed the happiness over the inaugural function and said that she had one more desire. She wanted a hospital also to be built in the village. She said, “Swami, I don’t want to put You to trouble. If You are troubled, the whole world will be in trouble and if You are happy, the whole world will be happy. So if it gives You happiness, please construct a small hospital.” As per her wish, I got the hospital constructed. Bejawada Gopal Reddy, a highly reputed person in those days, was invited to inaugurate the hospital. The inaugural function was a grand one, attended by thousands of people from the neighbouring villages. Easwaramma did not imagine that this would be such a grand affair. Next day, she came up to Me and said, “Swami, it does not matter even if I die now. I have no more worries; you have fulfilled my desires and mitigated the suffering of the villagers to a great extent.” I said, if you have any more desires, ask Me now. She replied hesitantly that she had yet another small desire. “You know that the river Chithravathi is in spate during the rainy season. But, in summer it dries to a trickle and people do not have drinking water. So, please see that some wells are dug in this village.” I told her that I would not stop with these small wells and that I would provide drinking water to the entire Rayalseema region. Easwaramma said, “I don’t know what Rayalseema is. I am satisfied if our village is provided with drinking water.”

 The young lad of Puttaparthi had no ancestral wealth and no powerful family has done no one can ever think of them in one’s lifetime: free healthcare, free education, and safe drinking water for millions. He rebuilds innumerable lives shattered by calamities, and above all united people across all faiths, cultures, countries and classes with the universal bonds of love, and tolerance. It is this pure love that distinguishes Baba’s enormous projects from others.

 The Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization, started by Baba over 50 years ago, today stands for service with love, discipline with dignity, charity without publicity, relief beyond costs, and help without distinction.

 The guiding message

 To earn real respect, you should do what you say. First “Be”, Second “Do” and Third “Tell”. Without the first “Be” and the second “Do”, you cannot merely “Tell”. IN A NUTSHELL… Good Parenting is the step to self-fulfilment.